Our perspective and how we see things changes for those who have been traumatized by life. Our sight becomes cloudy and twisted. We no longer are able to see clearly. I have been one of those people. Jesus has been healing me from the abuse in my life but I have been afraid he was only going to hurt me like everyone else has done in my life.
Several years ago, God gave me a vision. I was standing in the door of an airplane over the ocean. As I stepped out of the airplane, he cut the cord to my parachute. He then told me to take a deep breath, he was about to take me under. He wanted to teach me how to trust Him. He is our hope and the only One who can truly help us.
He has a wonderful plan for my life and I received him into my heart a long time ago. But before God can use us, he takes us through the furnace of affliction. He tests us to remove the impurities in us. He knows what is in us. He knows what we many times don’t see and can’t see because of our blurred perception.
I had been hurt by many people deliberately and on purpose. They used me for their own purposes, not caring how I felt and how much pain they were inflicting upon me. I learned not to trust. Not even God. How could I trust someone I couldn’t see when I couldn’t even trust those I could see. But God knew all that before he called me. He has taken me through a season of testing and he doesn’t always tell us what he is doing. I felt like he was hurting me like everybody else had. He was making me face and acknowledge my past and all the pain, which I had stuffed down inside and had not dealt with.
God held out his hands to me and had given me a hope that no one else had ever done. He brought me physically out of the abuse and then had to bring me out emotionally, a process that lasted for several years. Jesus knows the pace in which we are able to handle things emotionally. He doesn’t rush us, but He also knows when we are dragging our feet and fighting Him.
One day he simply told me “breaking wild horses”. I got on my computer and looked up how to break a wild horse. I ran across an article on; https://animals.mom.com/how-to-softly-break-a-wild-horse-7976663.html. The first thing you see is a “Warning”. Physical injury may occur when you break a wild horse. Keep your distance until you are sure there is a sense of trust with the horse, or you may end up being bit or kicked.
It says “Softly breaking in a horse is no easy task. It takes time, dedication, patience and most of all, compassion. It is important to understand the concept of fear—if you aggravate or scare the animal, it will not respond well. Be prepared to be bucked, kicked or even bitten at first. Wild horses have an innate fight or flight response. Use compassion and connection to bridge the gap of master and beast, until the animal learns to respond positively to your presence.”
Then someone told me about an old movie with Robert Redford called “Horse Whisperer”. I watched as the horse whisperer spent long hours sitting in the presence of the horse, giving the horse time to get used to him eventually touching the horse, petting him. At the same time, he used a coiled rope that he would hit against his leg, causing the horse to run in one direction and then the horse would turn and run in the other direction. He was teaching the horse to obey his commands.
I’m not an expert at breaking wild horses but God is. What I’m saying is Jesus knew what was inside me and knew what was needed for me to be healed. Over several years he patiently, (well mostly) and lovingly broke down the barriers in me and healed me from the abuse in my life. It has not been easy and has been very painful. I’ve fought God hard, that is why He said it was like breaking a wild horse. He has my best interest at heart and loves me and was healing the open wounds in me, but I was so hurt by life that I couldn’t trust and felt everyone in the world was out to deliberately hurt me and use me. Jesus loves us but because of our blurred perception we can’t always see that and even if we don’t fully trust him, if we will allow him into our lives and allow him to do what he needs to do he will do a new thing in us. As he breaks us, he is making us to be a new creature, able to love and trust even after all the abuse inflicted upon us by others. What an Awesome God!
Even though it is not an easy road, it is well worth it. Jesus has chipped away at my hardened heart for a long time, but He promised a hard shell would fall off my heart and I would be able to trust again. It is amazing, because what He said happened. I can feel and give love now. I can feel God’s love for me.
God doesn’t use the same method in each of our lives. Some respond to softness and tenderness. For some it is like breaking a wild horse. Softly breaking a wild horse…or not so softly. It is building a relationship with our Creator, spending time with Him, reading and studying His Word so that we can hear from Him and allowing Him to change us into a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
The Horse Whisperer
