Jenny P.
I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. When I was 11 years old my family moved us to Brazil, Indiana due to the drugs and violence in Phoenix. Little did they know that they would be moving us to a small town filled with methamphetamine. When I was a little girl, I went to my best friend’s birthday party and her little sister called me fat. My brother tormented me with hurtful words my entire childhood. I began to believe the lies they said and opened my soul to rejection. I came from a good home with good parents.
I played sports growing up, but I always struggled inwardly with my weight. I could never get the voices in my head to stop saying that I was fat or ugly or not good enough. When I was sixteen I fell in love or what I thought was love with a boy and he introduced me to methamphetamine’s. It made me feel like I could do anything, and I had so much energy. Little did I know that I just opened the door to satan and his demons and it was about to take me on a journey to hell and back. I was able to graduate from high school and went on to play college softball, which kept me from becoming addicted at the time. I got pregnant with my oldest son, Zack, when I was a senior in college, and I gained over 100 pounds with the pregnancy. The father did not want anything to do with me or the baby and it completely broke me. I was severely depressed during the entire pregnancy and when I had him, I suffered from postpartum depression. I started to use again in hopes of losing weight. I thought if I could lose weight, I would feel better about myself, but within a month I was addicted and could not stop.
I went into years of struggling to stop and get clean, but just could not do it. I used daily for almost 8 years. I met another guy in hopes that I would be able to stop if I could just get married and settle down. We did get clean long enough to get married but we could not manage to stay that way. Four months into our marriage we both relapsed, and my husband went missing. He was found four months later in a field where he overdosed. I was broken and so lost,m and I remember getting a Bible out, and getting on my knees and praying. I asked God if He was real to please save me or let me die. I could not take it anymore. God orchestrated everything for me to go to the House of Hope in Kentucky and my life forever changed the day I said yes, I would go. I ended up leaving the House of Hope early because I listened to the lies of the enemy telling me Zack needed me and that I would be better off at home. I ended up leaving half way through the program and did not finish my commitment that I had made to God. I ended up relapsing several times. I went to NA and AA meetings to find myself going back down the same road as before. I was clean for 14 months or so and I met another guy and I believe satan used him to get me to once again relapse. He told me I needed to learn how to control my using.
Well, there was no controlling anything when it came to my addiction. One night I felt this black entity enter into my body. I could barely breathe, it was like it was choking me. I began to freak out and went home to my apartment where the battle for my life began. I took Zack to lunch and the demon started talking through me. My son was so scared that we got up ad left the restaurant. I went upstairs and the demon appeared in my bedroom, cussing at me and telling me that I was going to die. He tormented me like I had never been tormented before. I called my friend and the phone got thrown out of my hand. I started praying asking God to help me. I know it was Angels and Jesus that showed up that day and fought for me. I ended up getting in the car ad the demon showed up in the back seat. He was holding a noose that he was putting around my neck and choking me. I made it to my friend Kori’s apartment and asked her for a Bible.She said that I tried to jump off the balcony and I do not remember that.
What I know now from that night is I was terrified and I was dying and Jesus showed up, slaying the works of satan and saving my life. My parents showed up and drove me to the hospital with my little boy in the back of the truck crying. I told him I was so sorry that I let him down once again. That day my life forever changed. When I got to the hospital the demon had possessed me and I was cursing the staff, my mom and the pastor and his wife. I kept telling my mom that it wasn’t me talking, it was something else. She kept telling me to be quiet. My Pastor and his wife were praying for me in the corner and the next thing I remember was waking up at my house. My mom made me go to a psychiatrist and get medication. When I came home, I slept that entire week.
When I woke up I felt so different. Jesus literally woke me up and told me He was putting me back together. When I finally went back to work that week, I had a visit from 2 people (I would call them Angels) from God. They said that God sent them, and they prayed with me and cast the demon out of me. They gave me a book and money and told me that God loved me. It was so surreal but today I know it was a supernatural encounter with the other realm. For the longest time the enemy tried to keep me quiet about my experience, telling me that it wasn’t real and that I was crazy. I know now that he was just trying to silence me because my story can change many people’s lives. People are afraid of the supernatural, and now that I am in a loving, real relationship with Jesus, I embrace it to the fullest. I want everything that Jesus has for me.One of my favorite Scriptures is Psalm 139. He wrote a book about each one of us and breathed us into our mother’s womb. Only Papa God could do that! I love Him with all my heart and will serve Him the remaining time I have here on earth.
I have given Him the pen back to finish writing my story and I want to help women who are struggling with addiction to come to know who they are in Christ. Let them know that Jesus loves then and that Papa has a purpose and a plan for their life. Papa has restored my entire life. He has restored my relationship with my family. I have a 6 year old little boy named Max that does not ever have to know what it is like to be in a family with an addicted mother. I have a husband who loves me and is faithful to me and our family. If you are reading this and need someone to pray with you and encourage you on this journey with Jesus, please reach out to me and I would be happy to help you in any way that I can. I will leave you with this…Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
(Anybody wishing to get in touch with Jenny, please email me Barbara@ehfm.org, and I will pass your message onto her.)
