One of the things that has helped turned my life around is being real, with myself and with God. For years the enemy kept me bound up and part of the reason is because I didn’t want to face the truth. The truth hurt. My life was filled with abuse, and nothing seemed to change that. The abuse seemed to go on and on and on. It started in childhood, into an abusive marriage for 35+ years, into a job where the owner was manipulative and tried to use intimidation to make people work and even into some of the churches I went to. The church should have been a safe haven, but many modern-day churches are not what God meant for them to be.
As a child, it is hard to accept abuse that continues with no sign of help or that anybody cares what is happening to us. And sometimes the mind shuts down to help us deal with and endure the abuse. That is what happened to me. However, that creates a fantasy world where, as we grow up, continues unless we deal with the pain of what happened to us as children.
Sometimes, if the abuse is great enough, counseling is required. In my case, God was the one who brought me through to be able to live a good life and for Him to be able to use me in this ministry. It was a rough road, and the pain was sometimes unbearable. But here I am. I am now able to tell my story without breaking down or falling apart.
Before I got here though, God put me in a position where I couldn’t run or continue to hide from what happened. If it hadn’t been for that, I would still be so broken and unable to function in many ways. Like a horse who senses danger, we have a fight or flight reflex. When we have been abused, we tend to gravitate towards flight, as fighting to stop the abuse didn’t seem to have much success.
Unless we face what happened and deal with the consequences of it, we remain hurting, and we continue to lash out and hurt others. Living in a fantasy world is simply hiding from the truth and making pretend that things are different than what they really are. We continue doing the same things expecting a different result. That doesn’t work. In order to bring about change in our lives, we have to do something different, something that requires us to become determined to see that change come about.
Becoming determined to see change, requires courage and can seem overwhelming and more than we think we are capable of doing. What we need to understand is that with Jesus we can finally stand up and see the devil defeated in our lives. Whether we believe it or not, Jesus does love us. He is on our side if we will have a relationship with Him and allow Him to work in us. He truly is the Great Physician, whether it is mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically.
I used to be so wrapped up in fear that I couldn’t stand up for myself. I had been taught to do what I was told and to not think for myself. I had to learn to trust my reality. Or I should say I had to learn to trust God, so I could trust my reality. I was broken. I was abused. And it hurt. What was done to me did hurt. Those that abused me were abusive and selfish and self-centered. And hurting themselves. I am learning to deal with my feelings and emotions, but to not allow them to control me.
If I didn’t learn to be able to control my feelings and emotions, then I would be no different than the ones who hurt me. In the Bible, when Cain killed Abel, he had allowed his feelings and emotions to control him. When we’ve never been allowed to learn how to deal with and control our emotions, it is hard to have to start doing that. We are all over the place emotionally and it requires the help of Jesus for us to grow up and mature. We have to do that if we want change in our lives and we really want our lives to be different. It isn’t easy but we have to become determined to do it.
As God led me to create the website for Ezekiel Heart of Flesh Ministries, and to write these articles, He has made me to continue facing issues and being real. It isn’t easy to admit to some of the things I’ve done or gone through, or to some of the ways I’ve been. I didn’t ask for the abuse, but I also ran from dealing with it. I continued to live in that fantasy world for many years of my life. It cost me. It cost me more than I realized and has made me look back with regret that I didn’t allow God to help me many years ago. So, I’ve wasted most of my life. I’ve been broken when I could have been healed and I’ve gone through some painful things that I wouldn’t have had to go through otherwise.
Hindsight helps us see things more clearly, but then it is too late to change what has already happened. If You have gone through things that have changed you, and not usually in a good way, let Jesus work in You. Let Him show You who He meant for you to be. Do it now, no matter how painful. Let your life be touched by the Master’s hand, the One who can give you joy and peace like nothing else. Don’t look back, filled with regret over wasted years.
Become determined to be real, to face the truth and allow God to heal you and make that change in your life. Let Him strip away the lies from the enemy and take the blinders off so that we can see the truth. It truly changes our lives and sets us free. It not only changes our lives, but can be used of God to change the lives of many others who are bound up.
The Importance of Being Real
