This subject is one that is difficult for many people to face. It took the power of God to enable me to overcome all the hurt and pain. I’ve written in other articles about the abuse and all that happened to me. I don’t feel the need to go back over it and write it all out again. What I do want to write about is the healing process and what God has done in my life, and what He will do in yours if you allow Him. Because I didn’t really know God during my childhood, it was easy for the devil to also get me caught up in an abusive marriage, and to keep me in abuse for most of my life. This made it harder to heal and to be able to acknowledge the abuse for what it was. And for what it wasn’t.
Being abused in childhood doesn’t give us a good foundation to stand on for the rest of our lives. In fact, the foundation is rocky and crumbling, making us to stumble continually and blame everybody else for the way we are. It stops us from being able to confront and deal with all the hurt and pain and sin in our lives. Many times, it causes a victim mentality that is hard to understand and see. It keeps us from healing and being made free from it all!
I’ve written before how God showed me an image of mirror. It is perfect. We can clearly see our reflection in it. Our perception of how things really are, they are clear and easily seen. But every time we are hurt, it puts a crack in that mirror. The more we are hurt, the more cracks in the mirror, and the more distorted our perception becomes. Because of having no good foundation to build upon as a child, as the abuse happens, we are easily overcome by the lies of the devil.
As the abuse continues, the mirror becomes so damaged, that we can no longer see the truth. A victim mentality stops us from seeing the truth of our own sins. Everything wrong in our life becomes everybody else’s fault. It is what they did to us. And yes, those who abused us as children did bring sin into our lives, but when we stand before God, we will give an account of our choices. If we don’t learn to take responsibility for our own actions and continue to do what we’ve been taught and what was done to us, we will never see change in our lives.
In the abuse, our perception of reality is challenged and destroyed. We are told the abuse is our fault and that we deserve it. We are told the abuse doesn’t hurt, that it doesn’t cause damage. We are told we are who we are because that is who we are supposed to be. It’s all lies. We did not deserve to be molested, raped, used, neglected, thrown away and hurt. We weren’t given a choice.
But as we grow up, we do have a choice. While living in the fog and in the lies of the devil, we do not have what it takes to see the truth. God can change us and turn our lives completely around. But many times, we are filled with so much hurt, anger, hate and bitterness that we blame God for allowing it to happen. The devil tells us it is all God’s fault, that if He really loved us, He would not have allowed the abuse to happen.
Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
This verse tells us that God does care what happens to us in childhood. Also the truth of the Cross shows His love for us beyond any doubt.
Usually those who have been victimized in childhood need to go through a process of healing, and only God can do this. We are blind, hurt, and confused, and must have our eyesight completely restored. Only God can make that cracked, distorted mirror whole again. Only God can make us see the truth as He causes us to face and acknowledge the hurt and all the lies we have been told.
The devil wants to destroy all of us. He wants us to believe that God doesn’t care, and that God doesn’t have the power to stop what Satan does. Scripture tells us otherwise, but we have to know God and allow Him to poke and pry in places that are already hurting, infected and wounded. If we will let Him, we can see our lives completely opposite of what we once were. No more fear, or believing lies, or walking in blindness. We can become the person God truly meant for us to be.
This process that God takes us through, is not an easy one. Depending on what was done to you by Satan, the healing process can take months or years. It can’t be rushed, although we can slow it down. God takes us at a pace we can handle. He usually does not instantly heal us because we would not really learn anything and end up going back to the way we were.
God commands that we forgive others, and this is the key to our healing. We struggle with that, but we must understand that it is not about letting those who hurt us get away with what they did. If we continue to hold unforgiveness towards them, we continue to be held in bondage. Those who anger you, rule you. Look at in a more selfish way. Let go of the bitterness and let God make you free. The process changes you just like healing a deep wound on your body. He applies salve to heal the wounds so that the sting of those wounds no longer hurt. That begins when you choose to forgive others.
One thing that helped me to forgive was when I realized those who hurt me had also been hurt. It took time. It was by God’s grace that I was able to forgive. It isn’t easy and we fight our flesh and the devil, not seeing how that is fair and why we should forgive somebody who hurt us. One of the hardest lessons is to separate the person from the spirits that have caused them to do such horrible things to us and others. We can’t blame it totally on spirits though and that is where our choices make the difference.
Not just other people’s choices, but our own. If we choose to not forgive, we are also choosing to continue staying in our wounds. The pain we endured was real, and it wasn’t fair, but when we forgive, we are letting go of the hold the devil has on us. Read the Word of God. Stop believing what the devil has told you. It is a daily choice we make, but as we come to believe the truth over any lies told to us by Satan, we will find the wounds healing and our lives changing in a way that sets us free and makes us to be what God intended, someone in His image.
Overcoming Childhood Abuse
