Recently I listened to my pastor’s wife tell the story of her legacy, the legacy left to her from her mother of strength in the midst of abuse. Her secret? Crying out to Jesus. I thought about that. I thought about the legacy left to me by my mother in the midst of abuse from her parents. I thought about the difference between the two stories. My mother wanted nothing to do with Jesus. Her heart became like stone. And that is the legacy she left me as I grew up being abused by my parents.
Many years ago, God started drawing me to Him. The Bible says in John 15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.
God chose me yet I’ve had a spirit of religion that caused me to be judgmental and cold-hearted. Part of that judgmental spirit was towards God. I didn’t really believe that He was who the Bible says He is. I didn’t believe that He loved me or that He could make the abuse stop in my life. Or even that He wanted to. I’ve realized since then, that is exactly what the devil wanted me to believe. The coldness of my heart blamed God for everything that happened to me. Only it wasn’t God that made my parents abuse me. They chose to. The devil tempts us, but not even he can make us do something. It is by our own choice.
God has taken me through many years of healing and deliverance, with me fighting Him all the way. I’m so glad He didn’t give up on me. Each of us has a legacy left to us by our parents. It can strengthen us or cause us to turn away from God. While my mom refused to allow God to heal her, by His grace I no longer live according to that legacy. God won this battle! He chiseled and hammered and beat on this heart of stone for a long time.
I have finally learned the love of Christ, His dying on the Cross for us, for me. God has taught me to stop being a victim and to realize that I do have a choice in how my life is lived out. My Pastor has been preaching on repairing the breaches in our lives. They are those places in us aren’t up to God’s standards and how He wants us to be. Is there hardness in our heart? Do we have unforgiveness and bitterness or hate? Do we have a spirit of religion, or do we have a relationship with God? Are we living for God, as He wants us to or are we being drawn to the things of this world?
What is the breach in your life? Do you know the love of Jesus? Does the Cross mean anything to you? I finally had to acknowledge the truth and realized that I had a lot of doubt and unbelief in my heart. Because of the abuse growing up, I didn’t trust God. If my earthly father was abusive, that made me believe God must also be that kind of father. Only He isn’t. He is a God of love, but also a righteous God. We can’t live in sin and be right with God.
By letting go of “blaming” others for what was done for me, God has taught me to stop sowing seeds of hate, bitterness and unforgiveness. I kept sowing those same seeds year after year and I didn’t understand that I was reaping what I was sowing. By letting go of the unforgiveness, it set me free from control of what others had done to me. What they did wasn’t right, but I have to let God be the judge. Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
By letting go, we give God the chance to change the hearts of those who hurt us. We aren’t so innocent either. We also have hurt people. For me, by letting God be God, it is causing a freedom I my life that I’ve never had. I kept sowing the same seeds of hate expecting my life to change. Not until I finally let go, and started sowing different seeds, did things in my life begin to change. Sometimes we have to change the legacy left to us by our parents. Sometimes we have to step out and become who God intended us to be.
Our Legacy
