Throughout this website, through each and every article, I have attempted to tell my story and the process that God has taken me through, just to get me to the place where I am now. It isn’t where I want to be, and I should be further along, but I’m grateful for the change that has already happened. I always imagined Jesus touching me and becoming instantly healed and made whole. The Bible shows throughout the New Testament where Jesus went about doing good. Acts 10:38 “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.”
All throughout Jesus’s time on earth, Acts 10:38 describes His ministry. So, it is possible for Him to instantly heal us, deliver us from the power of the enemy through deliverance. And many times, he may instantly heal us from a disease or sickness. Many times He doesn’t instantly heal us, especially when He wants us to learn something. That is how God has worked in my life. He makes us “walk out” our healing or deliverance. He took me through a process that forced me to face the truth in my life. If we don’t face the hurts and wounds, they will continue to fester and become more infected. It is painful to deal with a wound in our life. We prefer to ignore it and hope it will just go away. But somewhere along the way, it will trip us up when we least expect it, and can cause more damage, not only to ourselves, but many times, to others around us.
A lot of times I wondered why God would allow such horrible things to happen to me. I’m sure most of us have. God wanted to work on my character and maturity. He would allow things to happen that would make me grow up, to define the personality and character He meant for me to happen. The devil came to steal, kill and destroy anything that God has for us. He hates anything that God has made or any person because we were all created by Him. Maybe God meant for a person to be full of joy and encouragement, but the devil will come along and cause major hurts and wounds. That is the way my life has been.
In Matthew 26:26 it says: “And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body.” That is the way He does us. He draws us to Him, He then usually speaks promises to us, blessings, but then He puts us through a time of testing, or a time that seems to bring us to our knees, teaching us, preparing us to be used by Him, and then He gives us our promises. If we have passed the test or allowed Him to work in us so that our wounds no longer bother us, we don’t forget them, but they no longer rip us to pieces.
Because of what God took me through, I can now tell my story without falling apart. I still have broken areas that God needs to work out in me. But I am in a new season of my life, no longer going through the testing and the breaking. Just remember though, that if we don’t pass the test, He will take us through another one, and another, until we do graduate. The last season of my life was very painful and hard. This season seems to be one where God is showing me why I went through what I did, explaining things to me. I’m still waiting on the time when I will be walking in His promises, but this season is not as difficult as the last. It is different. Each season prepares us for the next one.
Each season in our life has a purpose, even though we don’t always see or understand. I never thought I would be able to appreciate or be grateful for the hell He seemed to be taking me through. And for the most part, there was no one to talk to or just hold my hand while I screamed my lungs out. In Matthew 26:35 “Peter said unto him, Though I should die with thee, yet will I not deny thee. Likewise also said all the disciples.” Peter confidently declared he would never deny Jesus, and yet that night, he did the very thing he said he would never do. That was a test Peter had to go through. For 3 days and nights, he must have gone through such agony of mind.
For most of us, that would be a breeze compared to how long we’ve gone through things. But like I said earlier, when Jesus walked this earth, most people were healed instantly. Anyway, the point is, it was the same process we have to go through. Jesus took us, (the bread), He blessed us with promises for our future and our family, it then seems like all hell breaks loose, but then finally comes a time when we start walking in those blessings and promises. We will, if we choose to allow what God has for us. It isn’t easy, or everybody would be signing up.
And the longer our trial is and the harder, the more God has for us. And the more He has for us, the more we are held accountable. Luke 12:47-48 “47 And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.”
It was hard for me to understand why I went through so much abuse and it was hard to understand why Jesus didn’t ride in on a white horse and rescue me. Let alone, understand why I had to go through a season of Him telling me “to take a deep breath, He was about to take me under”. He put me in a place where I could no longer run from the truth. He dug down deep and touched every painful wound, making me remember things that I didn’t want to remember. But as He made me face and acknowledge the past and the pain, He has slowly applied His healing balm over each wound. He healed the emotional wounds and then healed my mind, so the memory no longer causes me to scream out in pain. And now He is preparing me for a ministry where He will use my story to change the lives of many other people.
In the end, it is like John 16:21-22, “21 A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world. 22 And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.”
Romans 8:18 “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” It is hard getting through the trial. It is difficult to even think about this Scripture when we are going through. But this too shall pass. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, “16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; 18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
I once heard somebody say “embrace the pain”. To be honest, I can’t say that was possible while going through all that. I can say that I have come to thank God for it, and especially for bringing me through. The articles on this website should also allow others to see what can happen in their lives if they allow Jesus to lead them, and if they will apply themselves. My life truly is so different than when I first allowed Jesus into my heart. I no longer am a victim. I no longer live in constant stress and condemnation from the devil. I no longer live in torment and fear. And only God could have made this come to pass.
The Process of Healing
