Sounds a bit silly, doesn’t it? Acting Abused After Being Abused. No, I haven’t lost my mind. I am talking about a reality in the life of someone who has been abused and even after they come out of abuse, they still have to deal with issues and problems. I’m talking about how I’ve continued to act like I’ve been abused even after coming out of the abuse. As I’ve said before in other articles, I was in abusive situations for 50 years of my life. And I’ve spent the rest of my life so far, being healed from a lot of the affects of the abuse. I’ve been abused, been healing from abuse, talk about abuse, and still many times finding myself acting as if I’ve been abused.
God is so good! He helps me to understand why I do things and why I react the way I do. One of the ways I’ve found myself continuing to act abused is through anger. I am easily angered. I get easily frustrated. I find myself putting myself down and constantly calling myself names, like stupid. I struggle with making choices and being aware of situations where I need to stop just blindly barreling my way through. When praying I find myself screaming at the devil, and I do that because in the abusive marriage and even at my job, I would find myself going off on the boss. I would find myself screaming and yelling, trying to make them stop abusing me.
Because of the abuse I had endured, I instantly get angry when someone does something that affects me in a bad way. I automatically assume that everything anybody else does is a deliberate attempt to hurt me. While living in abusive situations that might have been true. I no longer live in abuse! I no longer have to act abused. After many years of healing and dealing with a lot of the affects of the abuse, I find myself still acting the same way. Yes, things have changed in my life, and I no longer have to keep looking over my shoulder in fear, or walk on eggshells, but I realize I no longer have to live as if I’ve been abused.
That is amazing and it is all because of God! In one of my recent articles, I talked about somebody I thought of as a friend, harshly judging and condemning me. It broke me. It brought me to my knees. I was devastated. And then God told me to get up and stop letting people throw me away! Wow! While I still have to deal with the issues, something changed in me. It changed on the inside of me. It brought me out of the “woe me, pity party” and gave me the confidence to know that I am not garbage. Only God! It is changing the way I think and act!
Because of having Jesus in my life, of no longer needing Him to just fix my problems, but letting Him use me for His purposes, there is a change in me. He showed me how to stop constantly thinking of what was done to me, but instead, by seeking who His Word says I am, I no longer have to walk in abuse. Seek God’s Word and do what it is telling you to do.
The yelling and screaming comes about because we think we have no power to stop the abuse. Once we know who we are in Jesus, we no longer have to act like what we’ve been told we are. Unless it is who Jesus says we are. When we don’t believe that God has the power to change us or save us, we are already defeated. So, even when we try to pray, we find ourselves yelling and screaming at the devil to try to make him stop what he is doing to us.
What we need to understand is Jesus died on the Cross, not just to save us. That is a benefit we received because He came to defeat the works of the devil! 1 John 3:8 “He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.” Once we fully understand that, it can change our whole life!
God also made satan, so that means God has full control of the devil. He has the devil on a leash like a dog. The problem comes when we have been abused so long, we then give satan credit for more power than he really has. Sometimes God allows things in our lives to mature us and test us, but many times things happen because God gave man free will, and the devil takes advantage of that. We have to realize God has more power than the devil.
Ephesians 1:19-22 “19 And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, 20 Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, 21 Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: 22 And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church,”
If we are in abuse, we are being lied to. The devil is using someone to beat us down, but in the end, we have to realize that the devil is our enemy and when we have given our life to Jesus, we now have His power that has already defeated the devil, and our situation can change. I know that there are many situations where someone’s life is in danger, and God does not expect anyone to stay in such abuse. Please get help. God can change any situation, but he will not usually go against someone else’s free will.
God also has not and does not call us names, such as stupid, worthless and no good. He does not tell us we will never amount to anything. God has not only taken me physically out of the abuse, but for many years, He has been healing me mentally from the affects of the abuse. He is telling me that I don’t have to scream and yell at the devil. In the power of Jesus Name, and by the Blood of Jesus that was shed for us on the Cross, we can become who He has called us to be.
I am still working on the anger and frustration. I have many other issues and problems that I will continue dealing with for the rest of my life on this earth, but one by one, I can become the person God meant for me to be. I can now stop acting abused after being abused!
Acting Abused After Being Abused
